Swamped Again

My homework is really overwhelming me. Honestly, I am not very good with being busy all the time and tend to want long breaks to begin with. It doesn't help that my workplace is isolated from everything else at the trailer. Well, except the cats, who are great company. Deadlines freak me out. I can work myself to death on my own terms, but give me a deadline and I'll start sleeping 20 hours every day to avoid the pressure.

I finished my mid-term for Personal Business 30 minutes late due to references, but we are allowed to submit two assignments late, however, I am apparently confused about some things regarding structure. I thought we were following APA guidelines as instructed, but there are some other rules. A lot of things aren't clearly explained in internet courses. I've also got a financial accounting mid-term today, which I am not looking forward to.

Bêlit got spayed recently, and it has been tough for her. She can't run or jump at all, which she loves to do, so we have to keep her in her cage with the big plastic collar on her. She starts puppy classes just as she gets her staples out, on the 19th. I hope she does well, I worry she will get kicked out for being to spazzy about the other dogs and people.

Chauncey and I are planning a Halloween party and already have costumes. I am going to make mini cupcakes and mini sugar cookies with icing. I am stoked about this and have been buying all sorts of accessories to do this. I even got some edible markers to draw on the icing. Here's the recipe for the cupcakes (with a link to their icing,) and a recipe for the cookies and their icing. Notice edible markers have been used to draw stitching on some of the cookies, as well as other designs.

I'll make some punch too. Probably something cidery. Though my friend Robby discovered this incredible whipped cream vodka that would be great to use.

Sometimes life is so frustrating for me. I know I'm not living up to my full potential. But I get to this line, and I just stop giving anymore than that. I know I have more to give, I just don't know where to pull it from. A lot of it I think has to do with my break down that got me on disability. It's like part of me died and I no longer am capable of pushing myself to the point of losing it, and my mind won't let me go beyond a certain "safe zone". Unfortunately the safe zone is too safe. I need to be able to give more. Maybe I am just making up excuses, it's hard for me to really tell. I have the desire though, but the drive just goes away after a certain level of stress. I enjoy learning, I enjoy succeeding, I don't want to fuck this up. I wish I knew what I could do to get my ass in gear. Just keep trying harder I guess. It's been a learning process, and three internet courses was biting off more than I could chew for just starting.

I don't mention politics overmuch in this journal, mostly because I feel I rarely have anything particularly insightful to say. Other people have said it better way before me. And all of them were better educated. I am a strong communist, but my time frame for communism to take place is rather long, and not in the foreseeable future. I want thinks to work better and help to come to the poor more than just accomplishing goals towards my political beliefs.

Lately, there's this poor old homeless woman living in a van in the publix parking lot in Riverdale with her dog. I assume she might have had the option of putting her dog in a shelter and living in a nursing home where she would be neglected and abused, (and don't kid yourself, they are all like that, if you have a family member in one, go there all the time, ask questions, and watch the staff like a hawk.) Really though, what kind of choice are either of those for the end of her life. She complimented me on my hair, and seemed rather upbeat. I don't think I could smile if I were her. There just shouldn't be anyone homeless who doesn't want to be. She can't even collect foodstamps or SSI because she has no address to receive them at. We are going to give her a big bag of dogfood and a twenty next time we see her, though money has been tight for us. It is obviously a lot tighter for her. I always feel weird giving people charity, like they might be mad I assume they need it. I hope she doesn't feel that way. Chauncey and I really just want to help her.

This post has rambled on enough. Until next time! Oh! Here's a picture of the beast, as well.

Ramblings

Yesterday was my birthday, and today I am sort of celebrating it. I am going to make a vegan red velvet cake and hopefully go to the Loving Hut. The Loving Hut is interesting, it is a franchise run by a cult of sorts led by a woman known as Supreme Master Ching Hai. For all my hatred of religion, I can't find them harmful, just naive.

I've been thinking a lot about politics, (which is common.) Despite being very far left, my general opinion is that we need moderates in this country at the moment to keep things moving smoothly. Listening to conservative talk radio has convinced me that at least half the conservatives refuse to see this, and are batshit insane. The one I hate the most, who actually makes me rage, is Mark Levin, whose only saving grace is his strange love of dogs. If the other hosts push away liberal attempts to communicate with them, he crushes them in seconds with naming calling and instant hang-ups. He yells at and insults his own audience, and his rantings remind me of Hitler in their ferocity. Furthermore, he has gone so far as to say Reagan created, what was it, 40 million jobs?, crediting his success as part of three or four successive presidential terms after him. This must be how conservative logic works.

Ultimately though, I am most disappointed in the left. In their failure to follow through with promises and their failure to act like mature adults. In Obama's failure to close Guantanamo, with prisoners kept there outside of any legal means of trial, many of whom may simply be guilty of speaking in support of Saddam or terrorist groups, rather than being terrorists. If they are even guilty of that. If he really needed a state for a prison, force one, pick a very red state. I volunteer Florida, our voters are idiots and we are the closest. It's not super red, but it always does something stupid. This year it is the early Republican primaries.

I am disappointed in Obama's failure to raise taxes for the rich, which could have kept medicare, medicaid, and social security funded for a long time. Reagan lowered taxes for the rich so drastically, and shifted the tax burden to the poor and middle class, and Obama could have fixed that easily with a majority in the House and Senate. Instead he pushed that abortion of a bill, Obamacare. Something that was so far from the original picture that it was damaging to the poor and the middle class who live paycheck to paycheck. People shouldn't have to pay for universal healthcare through anything but taxes, and the rich should carry the burden.

As has been said in the past, no one ever became rich on their own. And as I would add, there were many backs, heads, and feet they had to crush to get there. Them having an "option" to write a check to the government isn't enough. I'm not hugely concerned about the middle class, like many Americans. They put themselves in debt and live beyond their means, though it is often as a product of society. I am much more worried for the poor. They suffer the most and have the least representation because they suffer from lower education rates, lower voting rates, higher propensity for crime, all due to poverty and living conditions and lack of funding to aid them. The rich whine the loudest, the politicians promise the middle class the most (but rarely deliver the full amount,) and the poor get pushed away every time.

Obviously I am for full redistribution of wealth and I think their are certain rights that the government owes its people, such as housing, food, clothing, education to college, health insurance, and other necessities. It's not impossible to pay for these. I just don't believe in a speedy path to communism. More of a slow crawl that slips into it gradually enough to get people used to it.